


Heart of Darkness

by joannacamilley



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Dark Caroline, F/M, Guilt, Ripper Stefan, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:12:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3479072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joannacamilley/pseuds/joannacamilley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Stefan wanted was for Caroline to be okay. But she took a turn for the dark side with consequences much more dire than either of them anticipated. Starts a few weeks after 6x15. Dark!Steroline featuring Ripper!Stefan. Major angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Steroline angst, what would I do without you? I literally wrote this all today during and in between my classes because this story would not leave me alone. Though it's only been 2 months, I used to post every week so obviously I am quite busy right now. It's not due to lack of story ideas because I'm currently writing another Steroline fic, though it will be happier than this one, multichapter, and AU but close enough to the tv show. Just be patient, my life is pretty hectic. Expect a lot more Steroline fics from me.
> 
> There's a scene in here inspired by Love of mine, someday you will die (but I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark) by sarcastic_fina. Def worth a read if you like this.
> 
> Please tell me what you think. Because if you want me to write more Steroline angst, I'm your girl, but I'm good with fluff as well.

Caroline hummed as the body hit the ground below her. They were at some seedy motel in an even seedier part of town - whatever town she was in this time. It didn't matter. He didn't matter. The only thing she cared about nowadays was the warm blood trickling down her chin.

She wasn't out of control. Her innate control freakiness would never let that happen. Rather, she could indulge in vampiric desires without letting pesky humanity get in the way. She was living how she was meant to live: free and without the drama of her past to tie her down.

Until now.

She heard him before she saw him. In the blink of an eye, she had him pinned to the wall. His deep green eyes weren't focused on her; they were glued on the bloody corpse on the other side of the room.

"Was that necessary?" he choked out before connecting his eyes with hers.

She tilted her head to the side. She had been gone for three weeks, vanishing after her mother's funeral, after _he_ rejected her, and that's all he had to say?

She watched him closely, like a predator observing their prey. He couldn't meet her eyes for a second so he looked down again. "Caroline," he murmured in his tortured voice. The voice that always made her weak, made her want to do anything to help him.

"What, Stefan? Unless you're here to join in with me, you should leave."

Her smirk was unnerving him. He was unsure of what to do. Just before Caroline wrapped her hand around his neck to snap it, he rushed her against the opposite wall, gaining the upper hand.

"I won't let you do this to yourself," he said lowly.

"Do what? Be happy for once?" she snickered.

"You're not happy. You're not feeling anything," he shook his head as he released his grip on her arms.

"Yes, I am. I feel free, okay? And I don't need you here to bring me down from that." She turned to walk away from him but he whipped her back around. They were standing chest to chest, and had her emotions been on, her heart would've been in her throat.

"I don't want you to get hurt. You never... you never heard what I had to say to you."

Her eyes turned to steel. "That doesn't matter, now, does it? You couldn't save me before and you can't save me now." She broke free from his grasp and was down the road before he even realized what she was doing.

Stefan stood frozen for a few seconds, remembering how Caroline looked. Messier than normal but happier in a way only she could look without emotions. He walked over to the body on the floor and prodded it with his foot. Definitely dead, and completely drained of blood. There wasn't too much of a mess beyond what normal feeding provides. Caroline was always neat, so why would Caroline without her humanity be any different?

As he began cleaning up the body and evidence (no good having police on her trail), Stefan began thinking if maybe this wasn't so bad. She wouldn't spiral out of control like Elena did. She wouldn't have to spend months in pain, grieving for her late mother. What's the worst that could happen?

Before he dumped the body into a shallowly dug grave, Stefan fished the guy's wallet out of his pocket. Steven McGregor. Another name to add to his list. While he didn't exactly kill Steven, he couldn't help but feel responsible.

xxx

Stefan found her a few nights later at a sleazy dive bar about a hundred miles west of the previous hotel. She was sitting on the bar, laughing as some balding guy crept his hand up her skirt. Jealousy flair up inside Stefan but he swallowed it down and casually sat next to them.

It was only when she glanced over at him did he realize she wasn't as drunk as she was letting on. Then he understood: the middle aged guy was her prey for the night. Her eyes flashed at him, practically saying _don't you dare fuck this up_ and he shrugged, playing along.

The bartender came up to him, at first biting her lip before furrowing her brows. "How old are you? Can I see some ID?"

"I already showed it to you. I'm twenty one," he compelled her, making her smile at him again.

"What can I get for you, handsome?"

The man next to Stefan groaned when Caroline's grip became a little too tight. Stefan ignored it and went on to order a bourbon on the rocks.

While waiting for his drink, Stefan made the mistake of looking to his side again. Caroline and the man were kissing so intensely, he wouldn't be surprised if their faces fused together. Luckily, his drink came quickly and he downed it in a few gulps before asking for another.

"Tough night?" the bartender asked him and she poured his second drink.

"More like tough month," Stefan grimaced, looking at Caroline again. Her eyes were peaking out from under their lids, staring directly at him. He decided to sip his drink slowly as he contemplated what to do next.

"Are you from here? I haven't seen you before."

The bartender seemed intent on keeping his attention. He looked down at her nametag. Bridgette.

"No, just visiting for the night." When his tongue darted out to get the extra liquid from his mouth, Bridgette's eyes followed their path. Caroline huffed from his right and he caught her scowling into her kiss.

"That's too bad. Well, if you still need somewhere to stay, my place is free."

Stefan had to refrain himself from bursting out in laughter. She seemed really hopeful that he'd take her offer. Caroline finally hopped off the bar and pushed the guy backwards, whispering in his ear that they should take this elsewhere.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll pass," Stefan smiled at her. He felt a little bad about the drop in her expression but he hoped the hefty tip he was leaving her would more than make up for it.

The man was already half drained by the time Stefan caught up to them behind the bar.

"That's _enough_ ," Stefan scolded her as he pulled the man free of her grasp. Caroline licked the excess blood from her lips while Stefan tried to feed him his blood, but it was too late. "You don't have to kill, you know."

"Does it matter? Their lives mean nothing," she scoffed and began looking around for another victim.

"They used to mean everything to you." Stefan was searching the man's pants for some ID but he couldn't find any.

"We're vampires. We're at the top of the food chain. Humans are here for us to eat."

"What, have you been talking to Damon?" The urge to ask her the man's name was strong, but he held back. She would probably ridicule him and purposely not tell him.

"It's the truth. If you weren't so scared of yourself, your Ripper self, you'd agree with me."

Stefan shook his head slowly. "This isn't you," he said sadly.

"You don't even know who I am anymore," she sneered, and then she was gone.

Stefan had to call for backup. They met up on the outskirts of Memphis, Tennessee on a cloudy Saturday.

"Thanks for meeting me," he sighed as he pulled her into a hug.

"Of course. How is she?" Elena's big doe eyes looked up at him in sorrow.

"I don't know how to get through to her. All she wants to do is kill people. Even when I try to stop it, she's always one step ahead of me. I just want to get her back."

She gave him a knowing look. "Have you told her how you feel?"

"I don't think it matters at this point," he groaned as he rubbed his hand down his face. "She doesn't care anymore. I don't think it'll change her mind."

"You should've told her before–"

"You don't think I know that?" he snapped at her before sighing. "I'm sorry. I'm just so... angry with myself. What if I had gotten to her house like ten minutes earlier? Or if I didn't listen to Damon's stupid advice before the funeral? I can't help but feel like this is my fault." He leaned against a wall, letting his body sag.

"It probably wouldn't have made much of a difference. She was in so much pain from her mom. It was pretty much inevitable," she tried to console him as she placed a hand in his back.

"How do we get her back?"

"I'll talk to her, alright? I know what it's like to be in so much pain that you'd do anything for it to be gone."

Stefan paused and nodded. "I'll take you to her."

It turned out Caroline was at a small club that played exclusively country music, but she was dancing around like her life depended on it. Every guy in the club had their eyes on her, along with a few of the women. Stefan and Elena shared looks before squeezing through the crowd to reach her.

Caroline's eyes narrowed when she saw Elena but she didn't stop grinding against a tall man with glasses. The music was so loud, they couldn't even communicate with their vamp hearing so Stefan and Elena moved so that Caroline was sandwiched between them. Caroline looked pissed off for a second before she started rubbing sensually against both of them. Their eyes met in confusion over Caroline's shoulder as she wrapped her arms around Elena's neck. Her back was pressed tightly against Stefan's front and she moved with him every time he tried to give her space. Suddenly, her fingers gripped dangerously tight on Elena's neck, but before she could snap it, Stefan pulled both her arms behind her back.

"Let's go," he hissed into her ear and she shrugged, practically skipping as she made her way towards to door. He caught Elena's eye again, expecting her to be scared, but instead she looked more determined than ever to help her best friend.

Once outside, they found Caroline smoking a cigarette.

"You don't smoke," Stefan observed as she took a long drag.

"Don't I? It's not like it's actually going to hurt me. I'm a vampire. I can't get c– sick."

Both of them saw her resolve falter but they didn't comment on it, lest she become more hostile. "Caroline," Elena started. "We all want you to come back home."

"Come home to what? There's nothing left for me in Mystic Falls. Klaus was right. I deserve to see the world and not be stuck in some stupid little town."

"You don't have to be killing people to do that, though," Elena said sadly.

Caroline chuckled before she began talking again. "Alright, listen. I tried to let you guys down nicely, but you just don't get it. Why don't I get a chance to do things my way? You _always_ get what you want, Elena. You were stuck between two brothers and you got your pick of them, while one of them abused me and the other one rejected me. You chose the one who kills people for fun, yet you judge me when I'm just trying to get a meal every few days. You don't get to be the authority on what's right or wrong because you don't even know the difference anymore."

"That's not fair, Caroline. I can't help who I fall in love with," Elena tried to defend herself.

"Everything is always about you, though. It's always about saving you, or trying to make things easier on you, because heaven forbid if you actually have to deal with something head on. I actually felt sorry for you when your parents died, but you've been milking it for years. You are literally a death magnet and if I were smart, I would've gotten out of town the second I realized what you and Saint Stefan were. The fated doppelgängers who aren't even together because you're such a selfish bitch."

"Hey," Stefan cut in but Caroline was on a roll.

"I would've never been involved in this if you weren't in my life. If you weren't Katherine's doppelgänger, and if she wasn't in love with you," she pointed at Stefan, "she would've never smothered me that night in the hospital. Hell, if you never came back to town, the tomb would've never been open, the supernatural compass thing would've never been turned on, and I would've never been in that accident to start with."

"Caroline, please," Elena begged her as her eyes glistened.

"Oh no, don't stop me now. I'm just getting started. You are literally the source of every single problem in my life. You can't even defend yourself because you know it's true. And you're always so self absorbed, you don't even consider how I'm feeling most of the time. My mom's funeral was the first time in years that you've even shown any concern for me and you still managed to make it about yourself and your parents. So I'm sorry if I can't take anything you say seriously."

Elena was rendered speechless so Caroline took that moment to vamp speed to a tree, rip off a branch, and embed it deep in Elena's chest.

Stefan was frozen in shock for a second before he ripped Caroline off her. He pulled the branch out, and upon seeing Elena wasn't desiccating, turned angrily towards Caroline. "What the hell!"

"Someone needed to shut her up," she snarled, watching coldly as Stefan tried to help Elena.

He was seeing her in a new light. She looked completely apathetic to her best friend's pain, a pain that she had caused. Who was this girl in front of him?

"Tell her to stay the hell away from me because next time, I won't miss." Caroline went back into the club, presumably to find her next meal.

Stefan stayed kneeled down next to Elena while she tried to catch her breath. "You should go back home. I think you made it worse," he told her and all she could do was nod.

"Should I get Damon to come?"

"No, I've got it from here." After he got her to stand up, they gave each other a tight hug. "I hope to see you soon."

Later that night, while Elena was on her way back to Mystic Falls and Caroline had drained yet another body, Stefan found out which hotel she was staying in and turned up in her room after she had showered off all the blood.

"Elena's gone, don't worry," he said before she even opened her mouth.

"Good, she was annoying," she hummed as she began sorting out clothes to wear.

"And I'm not?"

"Hmm, not as much. Plus you're hot, so that helps." Caroline dropped her towel, causing Stefan to shift his eyes away uncomfortably.

"We just want to help."

"Well, you're not. You're just making me angry." She had slipped some underwear on and was flipping her hair to get some tangles out.

"Anger is an emotion, you know."

"Okay, then you're just being irritating. It's not what I want so stop trying." Finally, she was clothed again so Stefan could look up.

"How long are you going to be like this, huh? Do you plan to do this forever?" His voice was wavering as it raised a bit.

"What's wrong with that? I am going to live forever so why can't I live how I want to?" Caroline frowned at him as she tied her hair up.

"I just need you to be back to normal!" Stefan practically yelled at her.

"Why, so you can feel better about yourself? I hate to break it to you, Stef, but not everything is about you."

"No! I just think we could be something great together."

It was silent for a few seconds before Caroline started maniacally laughing. "Are you being serious right now? I've liked you for years, years, and just when I've given up, when I've decided this would be the last time you'd reject me, that's the time you decide we could be _something great_?"

Stefan looked down, tears forming in his eyes. "I didn't know that you would do this."

"This is me now, Stefan. This is who I am. And if you truly believe we could be something, then you'll either leave me be or join me. You can't change me."

He stared at her, eyes wet and mouth quivering for about five seconds before it all stopped. His eyes were set in stone as he stared at her emotionlessly. "Alright. Where to next?"

Caroline couldn't stop the large smirk growing on her face. "I'm not that hungry, but you must be parched. Let's go to a bar."

The judgement was completely gone from Stefan's face, almost making her happy. "You know I'm a ripper, right? Everyone who's there either needs to be compelled or killed."

"You act as if I actually care what happens to them. Show me your worst," she whispered with a grin.

Stefan smiled back in his own twisted way and they headed off to the ill fated bar.

There were only about five people there, which Stefan attributed to the fact that it was very late at night and almost closing time. He bolted the door shut while Caroline compelled the bartender to not move or make a sound. He caught her eyes and nodded before making his way to a single woman who looked more than just drunk at a dirty table.

Her eyes widened when he sat next to her. "Hey, what's your name?" he flirted heavily, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

"P-Paulette," she stuttered, almost not believing he was talking to her.

"I need you not to scream," he told her lowly while leaning in. She closed her eyes, obviously expecting him to kiss her, but he dipped to the side and latched his mouth onto her neck. The seconds between his lips connecting with her skin and his teeth sinking in were long but he cherished it because he knew once he started, he wouldn't be able to stop.

A scream was lodged within her throat, not able to come out due to his compulsion while he bit in so deeply, he was surprised her head didn't pop off right then. Her blood was so delectable, so heavenly, Stefan knew it would be extremely hard to come back from this when he turned his emotions back on. Too soon, her head was disconnected from her body, leaving a messy stump of her neck. He turned to her arm, trying to tap into an artery but her feeble heart had stopped pumping.

He turned around like a feral animal looking for their next meal. Caroline had compelled the other three patrons to stay in their spots, though they looked terrified of him. She was gently feasting on the bartender as he stiffly mixed the last drink he would ever make.

Stefan practically jumped over tables to get to the next nearest person, a guy in his mid thirties who clearly didn't get over his high school days judging by the small letterman jacket he was wearing. Stefan didn't bother with any introductions, having already gathered his name from the stitching on the jacket. He tore open his carotid artery and reveled in the waterfall of blood that poured out of the poor man. Stefan couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He was drunk with bloodlust, almost drowning in the pleasure it was bringing him.

The man was soon drained as well and Stefan was moving to the next one when Caroline intercepted him. "Slow down," she murmured as she ran a hand up his chest. "Enjoy it."

"I am enjoying it," he said gruffly, pushing her aside and attacking a girl who barely looked old enough to be in there.

When he turned to grab the last person, Caroline had beat him to it. He narrowed his eyes at her but she just smirked. "We can share," was all she said before she bit into the person's neck.

Stefan slowly walked over and leaned to the other side of their neck. He wasn't quite sure if it was a man or a woman, but did it really matter? Caroline was drinking slowly and reached out to hold his hand. He took a few breaths before joining in with her, trying his hardest to not just gulp down the liquid like it was a shot. He let the blood sit in his mouth for a second, swishing it around his tongue and fully tasting it.

Oh boy. This was even better than chugging it down. The person went limp quicker than usual since two vampires were feeding on them but they didn't stop until every ounce of blood was in their stomachs.

"See?" Caroline sighed happily. "Isn't this much better?"

He wanted more. The blood staining her lips was too inviting and before he even knew what was happening, their mouths were mashed together in a bruising kiss. He practically knocked her onto the table and held himself above her as he cleaned every drop of blood first around her mouth and then within. Their tongues tangled together as the kiss intensified. She bit his lip as he ripped open her shirt, making him moan. She was more gentle, pulling his shirt over his head while he worked on ridding her of her pants. As soon as his jeans were past his hips, he pushed into her.

She gasped from his sudden intrusion but he didn't stop. He was rough and fast, exactly the opposite of what she thought he would be. His face was wild as he pumped into her and he held her down with a hand on her shoulder.

"Stefan, please," she moaned, her senses being overwhelmed.

His eyes darkened at her voice. He held her hip down harder and slowed down a tad. "Am I scaring you?" he asked lowly.

"No," she breathed out.

"Good. You asked for this." He sped up again, making them both moan. Just before they fell over the edge, Caroline pushed him over so she was straddling him in a chair.

He let her ride him without offering any help. Her inner walls clenched him tightly, almost paralyzing her with pleasure but she was determined to take this to its end. After another minute, his hands tightly gripped her ass and he slammed her harder against him. It only took a few more thrusts before Caroline was losing it. She bit into his shoulder to keep from screaming as she spammed around him. Groaning, he blew his load inside her.

Caroline didn't want to move for a while. It almost felt nice to have Stefan's arms holding her closely. If she didn't know any better, she would think she was falling in love. She leaned back and looked at him. While still looking a bit broody, there wasn't too much of any other emotions on his face.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" she asked, her voice a little scratchy from screaming into his skin.

"What?"

"That you wanted to be with me."

He looked away from her eyes and thought for a second. "Now's not a good time to be asking me that."

"Not a good time? We just had sex!" she exclaimed incredulously.

"I just fucked you," he corrected her.

She raised her eyebrows. "There's a difference?"

"I don't care about anything anymore, Caroline. And if you still care about being with me, then maybe your emotions aren't actually off." He got up and pushed her off his lap before looking around to put his clothes back on.

Caroline was dazed. She picked up her torn shirt, unsure of what to do with it and the boy in front of her.

Stefan paused once he was dressed. "Don't tell me you actually care now. You can't have it both ways. You should've talked about all this feelings shit before I turned it off. Come on, I'm tired."

She followed him back to the hotel room and got into bed with him, but she couldn't shake the weird feeling in her stomach. It was that feeling that made her leave town before Stefan woke up the next morning.

xxx

Stefan's phone wouldn't stop ringing, no matter how many times he ignored it. The other side of the bed was empty but he wasn't worried. Caroline must be thrilled that she had a murder buddy now.

"What do you want?" he groaned as he answered the phone.

"Well, hello to you too, brother."

"Damon. What?" He sat up and rubbed his eyes before looking at the time. Too damn early to be awake after a night of hedonism.

"Elena told me what happened yesterday. Please tell me you put Barbie in her place?"

"What are you even talking about?"

"Blondie almost killed my girlfriend, therefore she must be punished." Damon's smirk could almost be heard over the phone.

"No one fucking cares anymore, okay? Let me go back to sleep."

The line was silent, Damon in obvious shock. "What did she do to you?"

"She convinced me to join the dark side," he chuckled. "Besides, Elena didn't actually die so tell her to stop whining."

"Stefan, are you serious? This is Caroline we're talking about. The one you said could be even better than true love. You have to fight for that."

"I'm tired of fighting against all odds," Stefan admitted.

"Then fight harder. I don't care if you ripper out, I don't care if you guys go on a murder spree all across the U.S., but if you don't get together with her after all this time, you're just wasting everyone's time here."

"She doesn't want me anymore," he argued as he felt something like hope growing in his stomach.

"Did she explicitly say that?" Stefan was silent. "Stef, turn your fucking emotions on and tell her, you idiot. You've been dancing around this way too long to let the humanity switch get in the way. You're not hiding from any emotions other than rejection, which won't happen either way because we all know she's been in love with you for years."

It happened almost without his consent. As soon as he started contemplating turning it back on, all his emotions hit him from last night. Hunger from thinking about all the blood he consumed. Guilt from thinking about all the lives he ended. Lust from thinking about how Caroline looked and felt below him. And above him too. Oh god, what had he said to her last night? Why was she unusually quiet on the way back here?

Stefan got out of bed and looked around. All her clothes were gone. Her shoes that she had kicked beside the bed last night weren't there anymore. Even some of the shampoo from the bathroom was missing.

Caroline had left him.

"Damon," he said shakily and Damon sighed in relief, knowing his brother had his emotions back. "I think I upset her."

"What do you mean?"

"Last night, we... hooked up and then she wanted to talk about _feelings_ , of all things, and I practically laughed at her and told her I didn't care anymore. I'm not sure if her emotions are actually off because she seemed... hurt."

"Why don't you just talk to her? Tell her you were wrong last night."

"She's gone and I don't think she's coming back. I have to find her." Stefan was immediately packing his bag (which didn't hold much) and made his way out to the street. Which way did she go? "I'll call you back when I find her, okay?" He hung up without waiting for an answer and hoped he could find her again before she did anything too destructive.

xxx

She hid well this time. There wasn't really a trail of bodies to follow, meaning she was being careful, but there was still reports of 'animal attacks' going from town to town, so he investigated. Until one day he realized the animal attacks were exactly that for a reason.

He had circled back to Mystic Falls a month later to recruit Damon and Elena for help since his plan obviously wasn't working. He stopped by the dive bar he had been to a while ago, and found Bridgette was still working there.

"Hey, cute guy who rejected me last month, how are you?" she greeted him ruefully.

"You remember me?" he asked as he took a seat.

"I never forget a handsome face. They are far and few here. I'm surprised you aren't here with your little blonde friend."

"Caroline? You remember her too?" He was surprised. They didn't even talk to each other the last time they were here.

"You obviously turned me down for her seeing as you followed after her and that hideous man. I hope she was worth it."

"Have you seen her since then?" he asked, ignoring the bitterness in her voice.

"Yeah, a few days ago. She almost got in a fight with some other patrons so I kicked them out." She seemed almost gleeful of this fact. "They took it out back."

Stefan thanked her (a little insincerely) and walked out into the alleyway. Maybe she left a body here. Maybe he could get some clues to where she was.

He smelled something that was kind of her scent so he went poking into the dumpster. Moving aside a large bag, he saw a hand. A well manicured hand. A hand he had held many, many times before.

His entire world stopped. Werewolves could've surrounded him and started biting, and he wouldn't have noticed. He was terrified of uncovering the rest of the body, terrified of confirming what he was suspecting. The hand was grey, veiny, definitely desiccated. At the very least, he was looking at a dead vampire's hand.

Brushing away more trash uncovered his biggest fear. Soft blonde locks. Perfectly arched eyebrows. And vacant blue eyes blankly staring at the sky.

His mind was in overload, struggling between trying not to feel anything at all and trying to plan the deaths of her murderers. He tried to keep his wits while his emotions were put through the ringer.

How did she die?

A large gaping hole in her chest told him the answer. Heart extraction. Not a human. Maybe a werewolf? But definitely could be a vampire.

Who was she fighting with that night?

His red eyes gazed back to the bar. He stormed back inside and headed straight for Bridgette.

"Whoa there, cowboy. Did you find her? Did she break up with you or something?" she smirked.

"Who was she fighting with that night?" he asked through gritted teeth.

She raised an eyebrow, her smugness going down a notch. "I don't know, some brunette with some ugly blonde highlights."

"I need more information." His homicidal urges must've been showing because she actually looked a little scared of him.

"She was tall, about your height. Wore dark clothes. Raspy voice. I think she lives a few miles away."

Stefan nodded and made his way out the door. There was a faint scent of another person on Caroline's body and he clung to it with everything that was left of his sanity. With all his concentration on it, he was able to pick the scent out of the thousands of others. Everything that wasn't right in front of him was blurred. Nothing mattered except finding the monster who killed _her_.

He came upon a small house that reeked of that smell. As quietly as he could, he walked up to a window that was slightly opened. He slowly slipped his fingers through the gap and smiled as they freely passed through. He wouldn't need an invitation to get in.

There was definitely someone breathing in the house but they were doing it quietly. Could they sense him too? Were they a vampire? It was coming from downstairs. To the right.

Stefan took a few seconds to prepare himself before he jumped through the window. The glass shattered upon impact and the person downstairs took in a sharp breath. Stefan vamp sped towards their noise and a moment later was in the same room as the person.

It was a woman. Tall. Mousy brown hair with straw colored highlights.

Enraged, Stefan tackled her and pinned her to the ground. "What did you do to her?" he growled.

"Who?" The woman was struggling to talk through his chokehold.

"Caroline. My–" what was she to him? "The blonde at the bar a few days ago."

Recognition passed through her eyes, making Stefan grip her neck tighter. " _She_ came at _me_. I was just trying to defend mysel–"

" _By ripping out her heart_?" Stefan was seething, barely able to see past his rage.

"She almost decapitated me! She was upset and had no humanity so I had no other choice!"

He started shaking his head automatically. "No. No. No. You didn't have to kill her. You didn't have to... No." He was seconds away from turning into a pile of tears so he did the only other thing he could: he reached into her chest cavity, grabbed her still beating heart, and threw it to the other side of the room.

Once the desiccation set in and his own choked breathing were the only sounds he could hear, he broke down.

Caroline was gone. Not gone in the way her emotions were. They would come back. They always do. She was _gone_.

The sad thing was Stefan couldn't even say she was on the Other Side now. She would never be able to find peace. And he would never see her again.

It was only once he gained a little bit of control over himself did he realized he tore the vampire beneath him into bits. He completely Rippered out and had no recollection of it. But for the first time, he knew he would not feel the least bit sorry about what he did.

Collecting himself, Stefan solemnly left the house and went back to the bar. He carefully dug Caroline's body out of the dumpster and cradled her close to his chest. He put her in the back seat of his car and began the trek back to Mystic Falls.

He was completely drained – physically, mentally, emotionally – as he pulled up to the Boarding House. Damon must've heard him because he came out to meet him.

"Hey Stef, did you find her?"

Stefan's throat choked up at his brother's question. He let out a shaky breath and gave a pointed look to the back seat of his car.

Slightly confused, Damon peaked into the window before freezing. "No..." he said sadly as he looked at Caroline's corpse.

"I killed the vampire who did this to her. I just don't... What else is there to do?"

Damon looked at his little brother helplessly, not sure what they could do to make this better. Instead, he opened the door so he could pick Caroline up and took her inside the house while Stefan followed behind. Of course, Elena was inside, and she had heard everything.

She looked devastated standing in the foyer, her eyes glued on her best friend's body. "How did this happen?" she asked, her voice full of anguish.

"I don't know. She got in a fight with another vampire a few days ago... and she lost," Stefan explained, feeling his heart breaking all over again.

"What did you say to her to make her leave?" Damon asked as he set her on the couch.

"What? You made her leave?"

"I didn't _make_ her leave, I just told her I couldn't talk about my feelings with her when my emotions were off!" Stefan exclaimed, feeling guilt claw at him again.

"Nice move, dumbass. If you hadn't have said that, she'd still be here," Damon scoffed.

Stefan had to take a few breaths to stop from combusting. "You can't be serious. Who's the one who told her it would get worse just before her mother's funeral? Who's the one who convinced me I wasn't the right one for her that same day?"

Damon opened his mouth to say something but it died in his throat.

"That's right. _You're_ the reason that she turned it off. _You're_ the reason I blew her off the first time. _You're_ the reason anything good in my life turns bad!"

"Stefan, it's not his fault," Elena tried to defend her boyfriend but that just caused Stefan's wrath to fall on her.

"And _you_. You angered her that night. I had to turn it off just so that Caroline wouldn't push me aside as well. If you weren't so hypocritical all the time, maybe your so called 'best friend' would still be here."

"Stef, where is all this coming from?" Damon was on the verge of crying, which was really rare for him.

"Caroline is _dead_. She wasn't supposed to die! She was supposed to come back and then we'd reconcile and we'd have forever with just us and... and... now she's gone!" He couldn't hold it anymore so he collapsed down to his knees while his body shook with the force of his sobs. "I should've stopped her. I should've held on to her tighter. I should've– I..."

Damon took his brother into his arms, letting him cry onto his shoulder. "I know. I know, Stef. I know it hurts, but there's nothing we can do now." That just made Stefan cry harder.

Stefan wouldn't be able to tell you how he got into bed that night. It was all a blur, but a few things stood out. How Elena hesitantly wrapped Stefan in a hug while he broke down. How they deliberated who would bury her before Damon volunteered. How his last view of Caroline was her limp, greying body being dragged out the door for an improper burial.

She wanted to see the world, but she had never even left the United States. She thought she would have forever but she barely made it past twenty years old.

Stefan couldn't even look back on their one night together, because if he could do it all again, he would do his best to worship her the way she deserved and not just on top of a dirty table in a bar. They would spend hours getting to know each other in whole new ways. He would never let her go.

But now, his other half was gone. He would never experience a love better than true love with her. He was almost certain she was the one to top all the other ones Lexi said he would find. So when Caroline died, a part of Stefan died with her.

That was how he found himself wandering the grounds of the Salvatore Estate just before dawn. There was a patch of freshly dug dirt under a cherry blossom tree and he just knew that was where she lay to rest. He sat down where he assumed her head would be and closed his eyes, imagining what it would be like if she was still here with her humanity. They would probably be snuggled in his bed right now, sleeping soundly.

He fiddled with his ring before pressing it into the dirt. It sunk in nicely and he made sure it was completely covered. Birds were starting to chirp around him, their cheerfulness mocking his desolation.

The first prickle from the sun's rays made him smile. His last thoughts as the sun rose above the horizon was that he could now be with Caroline, wherever that may be.


End file.
